Today I got hit over the head…with truth.
I have been feeling really guilty lately about how much of a yeller I am becoming. I’m not even sure how it happened. I mean, I know that I am loud by nature. I can be heard from miles around when I’m just chatting. But this is different. I’m yelling out of frustration.
So many times, it’s at my kids.
And then I want to curl up into a ball and cry. My poor children! What a terrible picture of their mom — as someone frustrated and taking it out on the people that she loves the most!
Today I opened my YouVersion app (which I highly recommend, if you don’t already have it) and read the verse of the day…
My words can kill.
I’ve seen it happen. It kills the moment of fun. It kills the joy. It kills a piece of the spirit. It kills the family time. It’s a terrible thing to see and even worse to know it was me who caused it. But the worst thing of all is to see it be passed on to my kids. Sometimes I hear it in their fighting. I hear their words laced with anger and my heart sinks.
The day is busy, the stress is high, and like a time-bomb…I explode. I let my words flow from my mouth without a thought. They slice through those around me and I shrivel.
But there is grace.
I have been learning to apologize to my family — especially to my kids. It is so hard to admit that I was wrong. That I was mean. And to my amazement, my kids forgive so quickly and completely. There are no grudges held, no retaliation. Simply…forgiveness.
This is such a perfect embodiment of what Jesus does for us. He forgives us totally and completely, without exception. I come to Him broken and flawed and He makes me new. And then He says that He will give me a new heart.
“I’ll pour pure water over you and scrub you clean. I’ll give you a new heart, put a new spirit in you.” – Ezekiel 36:26 MSG
Oh let this be!
Even still. I don’t want my shortcomings to become the shortcomings of my boys. I’m raising Spartans. But part of being a leader and being a man of God is possessing humility. Leading a family will require asking for forgiveness after messing up. It will demand the forgiveness of others. And it will call for constant refining and renewing.
So I guess that my calling is to keep being human. And to keep being humble and asking for forgiveness. I need to be vulnerable and honest with my husband and my kids. I must keep demonstrating forgiveness to each of them when they are just as human.
Because my words can also give life.
I’ve seen that, too. I’ve seen my words lift spirits, encourage, change the course of the day. Especially with my husband and children, I have seen them be so greatly affected by my positive words. When I take the time to think about my words, I see the impact it makes.
Even the asking of forgiveness is an example of my words giving life. My words of humility begin a process of healing for both my kids and for me. They open a dialogue of changing behavior — of righting wrongs. I’ve seen my own forgiveness heal others.
Well-chosen words can give my kids encouragement or let them know that I am proud of them. They can tell my husband that I am excited for him, or that I love him deeply. They also let those around me know that they matter. That they are important and are loved by a God that was willing to send His Son to die for them.
My words can point to Jesus.
The choice is mine.
How powerful are words for you? How have you seen the power of words displayed in your life?
Leave me a comment!