Do you ever get so caught up in the everyday-ness of life that you forget to be joyful? For me, it’s the busy times that are the worst times for being grateful. There’s no time to stop and look around me and see how much I have been blessed. I just zip around like a hummingbird from one thing to the next. Nothing gets my full attention (worst of all, my family).
If you know me even a little bit, you know that I am not a person who can sit still for long. I mean, I enjoy a good lazy day….every once in a while. I’m not a person who can just curl up with a good book on a regular basis (as much as I love reading). Even when I watch TV, it’s almost never empty-handed. I have to have a project because I can’t just sit still and watch TV. I love going places, seeing people, and doing fun things. I am grateful that Ty is the same way.
Our family motto is “Love God. Love people. Do stuff.”
We have never been on a schedule for long. It never lasts because fun things come up and we hate to say no just because we have a schedule. I rarely say “No thanks, I think we just need to stay home.”
Thankfully, my kids have always thrived on this way of life. We have travelled all over the country, and have seen and done so many incredible things. They can sleep most places, and aren’t the kind of kids who wake up at the same time every day no matter when they fell asleep. They are always up for any adventure.
We all benefit so greatly from the way we have chosen to live. And I know that it’s not for everyone. But we all slip right into this active life effortlessly. I constantly hear people condemn busyness, and it’s all very true. But there’s always a part of me that knows that God made me this way — to thrive on extra activity.
The problem I struggle with is when I get too much on my plate. When I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, if you will. This sneaks up on me. It usually comes in the form of committing to be too available. We love helping people, so we try to jump on every opportunity we can. Sometimes that means that I say yes to too many things and then all those things suffer.
This is where we have been recently. We want so badly to be all things to all people, and for the most part, we know our limits of how much we can be and to whom. But every once in a while, we get in over our heads.
Now this post isn’t to tell you how to avoid that place, because honestly, I don’t know how.
But I realized something today that really surprised me. When I am in this place of being too busy is when I’m usually closest to God.
You read that right.
For some, being too busy is when they feel farthest from God. But I think because I’m a naturally busy person, my normal state of busyness is where I lose sight of God. I get in my groove of getting things done, driving here then there, and hopping from one social gathering to the next. I’m so caught up in my own efforts I forget to stop and acknowledge what I’ve been given.
When I have too many “balls in the air” and I finally admit that I can’t juggle them all is when I finally throw my hands up and look for God.
This is where I am lately. I’m overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed by the amount of things on my to do list. I’m overwhelmed by the responsibilities that are mine. I’m overwhelmed by the hurt and brokenness around me that I can’t fix.
And this is where Jesus meets me.
He waits for me to stop being Martha, running all around the house, and gently sits me down and reminds me how to be Mary. He waits until I’m in the middle of my meltdown and then whispers “I’m right here.”
Oh! It takes my breath away to know that He just sits back and waits for me. My favorite words of almost any song are from the song “Sweetly Broken” by Jeremy Riddle (you can check it out here).
At the cross you beckon me,
You draw me gently
To my knees and I am
Lost for words,
So lost in love
I’m sweetly broken,
I have to tell you, it’s an extraordinary thing to be broken sweetly by Jesus. It’s not a shredding, or a shattering. It’s lovingly, painstakingly reshaping and molding you into the beautiful thing He intended me to be. There’s no shame or condemnation. Only grace and mercy. He gently draws me to my knees, and there I can become sweetly broken, and wholly surrendered.
And what a precious thing to be wholly surrendered to Jesus. It’s a freeing feeling. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. And when I’m running around in a state of utter chaos, it is so comforting to feel the presence of Someone steadfast and constant.
So in the busyness of my life, I cling to the cross, lost for words in the moments of utter chaos. And Jesus beckons me to the cross and draws me gently to my knees. It’s there that I find my rest and my joy. And thank goodness for the overwhelming moments that brought me there.
When are the moments you find Jesus? Have you ever been broken sweetly?