God’s been teaching me something this week.
For the whole week, I have been so sick.
When I say “down for the count,” I mean it.
For the last few weeks, I have been on overload. Warp speed. Hyper drive.
I’ve been overloaded, overcommitted, overbooked, and overtired. I’ve mentioned before that I am a person who thrives on a full schedule, and for the most part, that is true. But this time, it’s been extra. Sometimes it gets away from me and all of a sudden, I’m dragging myself out of bed way too early, barely making it through the busy day, and falling into bed way too late.
That’s what has been going on these last few weeks. I was feeling like I couldn’t take a full, deep breath. Not figuratively, but physically. I felt like I was so busy that I was out of breath.
One of the things that I hate the most is being late. I feel so rude being late. And these last few weeks, I don’t think I’ve been on time anywhere other than school, and that’s only because I know that you get in trouble for that, rather than people just writing you off as a person who’s always late.
I used to never be late. Lately I’ve been late to everything, and it makes my skin crawl.
On Friday, we had the women’s conference at our church, and it was so great! But, in true busyness fashion, I volunteered to greet both days. I think this was my first mistake. Don’t get me wrong – it was great hanging out with my friend Brandy and my mom and sister while we greeted all the women attending this conference. I enjoyed it a lot! But I stood in the Arizona sun for 2 hours on Friday, and then after a very late night that night (chit chatting….you know how we do.), we had to be back super early Saturday morning.
I felt it later that Saturday. And by Sunday, I was toast.
You guys, hear what’s wrong with this next statement.
I took two 2-hour naps on Sunday.
I have some amazing help in my life. Ty and my in-laws took my kids for both naps and left me undisturbed.
Which is great, because I already could tell something was wrong. My body was having a hard time functioning properly. I was tripping over myself, words were getting jumbled, and my hands were shaky. I couldn’t think straight.
Today is Friday, and I have been the same way and worse since Sunday. I’ve been trying to sleep more than ever this week, between naps and going to bed earlier than I’ve ever gone to bed. I’ve had fevers for hours on end every single day this week, which peak in the middle of the night, making my sleep restless.
And in the meantime…our whole house has imploded on itself. There is so much laundry to be done, so many dishes, and filth everywhere.
This is the laundry.
And the suitcases from when Ty went out of town last week and the women’s conference this weekend that have still pretty much not been unpacked yet. Mostly just stuff pulled out and thrown everywhere.
And the mixture of dishes. Some clean and ready to be put away, and some that need to be washed before the smell drives me to a hotel. If you just keep using the clean dishes out of the dishwasher, pretty soon you won’t have to empty it. Just sayin’.
This week has been hard for my heart. I’ve been cranky, helpless, and at the mercy of these fevers. My kids have been under the weather, too, so it’s been very lazy around my house this week. They’ve both been so understanding about me being boring and sick. Noah even asked if he could keep me company in my hot bath to try to break my fever. So I put on my bathing suit and we played cars in the tub. Just whatever works, you guys.
Yesterday when I was text-lamenting to my friend, Brittany, who is very much like me, she texted me back and said, “I seriously think it’s so so hard for people like us to give ourselves a break without feeling guilty.”
That’s what it was…I was feeling guilty for being sick and sitting on the sidelines. Ty was picking up what slack he could, my kids were enduring more hours of TV than I care to admit, and we were eating cereal or oatmeal for multiple meals. I just didn’t have it in me.
My family, my house, my life were suffering. I cancelled many plans and meetings, and neglected quite a few tasks due to being sick.
It felt so good yesterday to get that message from Brittany and be reminded that I am able to stop when my body is BEGGING me to. God had everything under control. I needed to be reminded to rest and be still. I was so weary, and God has given me rest this week.
I hope that we can all remember that the functioning of the world does not rest on our shoulders, and God would so love to spend the time with us, and He’d love to bless us with people to give us help. He did both of those things for me this week. It was a great time to be still and know that He is God. And to feel His love through those who loved me and blessed me with their help this week.
May you get some time this week for rest (without this terrible sickness, I hope!)
Do you have as much of a hard time stopping as I do? When you’re sick does your whole life fall apart like mine?