Today my baby turned 3.
**Cue the waterworks!!**
Wow, where did the time go?! This moment is terrifying and encouraging all at the same time. I made the day pretty low-key…we’ve been having a crazy birthday weekend, and we needed a break! But we did decide to have a birthday dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. We couldn’t let the day go by completely unnoticed!
But even with the low-key-ness (yep, not a word) of the day, I spent a lot of the day in an exhausted and weird mood. I felt like there was this little nagging “downer moment” coming. I guess it’s just a realization that clichés mostly stand true and that TIME. DOES. FLY. Not just fly. It straps on its jet-pack and launches itself into outer space and before you know it you’ve gone from “Hi, it’s nice to meet you, Aidan. I’m your mom.” to “Hi, it’s nice to meet you, Professor. I’m Aidan’s mom.” And I’m not ready!!!!!
On the way home from dinner, I was fortunate enough to be driving by myself since Ty met us at the restaurant. Sometimes, as a mom, driving by yourself — or really, doing anything by yourself — is a major blessing. Tonight, it was just what I needed. It gave me time to sort out my feelings. Or so I thought. Instead, this song came on the radio. It’s by Christina Perri and it’s called “A Thousand Years”, and every time I hear it, I melt. But tonight wasn’t just melting. I mean it was ugly, withering, hyperventilating melting.
When Aidan was born, he was a miracle baby. He’d already barely survived a car accident (more on that in a later blog post) before being born. He stayed in the NICU for two weeks before I could bring him home, and I would rock him at night and sing songs to him. He was my baby that loved songs. Our relationship was rough in the beginning. Due to some digestive problems he screamed 24 hours a day for the first 6 weeks of his life, and I was not 100% healed from my injuries in the car accident. It took us a long time to bond. Our bonding wasn’t complete until one night when he was a little over a year old, “A Thousand Years” came on the radio. I was holding his tired body, limp with the exhaustion of another busy day of adventure. His head was on my shoulder, and I was swaying side to side to the music. He fell asleep on my shoulder, and I felt right then and there something in my heart lock into place. I knew that her song summed up perfectly how I felt about him and how much I loved him.
The lyrics get me every time.
I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
Watch her sing it here.
Look out. Here comes the melting! I can’t tell you how powerful those words are to me. I did almost die waiting for him. I wanted him so badly. I dreamed of holding him in my arms all the time. While he was growing inside me I felt this connection between his soul and mine — like they had been connected for a thousand years. I guess that’s why I melted. My thousand years seem to be slipping away so quickly!
This sweet, sweet boy of mine is growing up too quickly. He’s smart, witty, stealthy, and tender-hearted. His loving personality is a joy to experience and see others (especially his older brother) experience. Watching him learn is exhilarating for me. His sense of humor catches me off guard all day long and leaves a trail of laughter behind him wherever he goes. There is a zest for life in that kid that is contagious — he lives life like it’s a high-speed car chase (sometimes small misdemeanor included). He makes me strive to be better so that the world that surrounds him is better. God has blessed me with this incredibly kind, intelligent, courageous miracle.
What a lucky mom I am. Happy birthday sweet Aidan!
Am I crazy? Or do you have moments where you just melt thinking about your kids? Leave me a comment — tell me I’m not alone here!