Jesus for When I’m Selfish

Jesus for When I’m Selfish

You guys….it’s been like 8 days since I posted last, I think. Something like that.

We’ve been under attack.

Seriously.

All four of us have been sick for almost a week!

My family rarely gets sick, and this week we have all been sick at the same time. Noah, Aidan, and I have one thing, but Ty has had something completely different. He’s been quarantined in one room of the house, while the boys and I have been sleeping in my bed.

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As I went about my life this week, feeling sick and overwhelmed, I started to see a truth. Every mom that I talked to about being sick immediately had the same response, more or less: “Oh wow, I’m so sorry! It sucks being the mom when you’re sick, doesn’t it?”

As moms, it’s just a reality that you don’t get to stop when you’re sick.

People still need things from you! They need even more when they are sick, too. Everyone still has to eat, snuggles need to be distributed liberally, each separate medication schedule needs to be updated frequently, temperatures taken. Even if you get to sit down and watch TV, it’s Arthur. The spread of germs needs to be mitigated, extra-emotional outbursts need to be lovingly navigated.

Let’s face it. Sick doesn’t equal rest for moms.

In the middle of this week, I had a little pity party for myself. I was so tired, my body just ached, and I wanted to go to bed. Alone. Even for just a couple hours. At that very moment, all three members of my family asked for something. Nothing big, just something. I couldn’t even tell you what it was.

Something in my brain froze.

I couldn’t even think. I couldn’t process their requests.

I just sat down and cried.

It pains me to say that I was totally consumed with myself in that moment. I’m ashamed that right then, all I could think was, “And what about me? Who’s going to take care of me? I feel so alone!”

I think I have found a new item for my list of things at which I suck.

This week, I was confronted with my selfishness over and over.

This week, I failed that test a lot.

I had moments of unkindness, a short temper, and definite selfishness. At times, I couldn’t seem to find my compassion, my patience, or my servant attitude.

But I’ll tell you something amazing…

I saw Jesus over and over this week.

I saw Him in my mom, who played with my kids who were in various stages of contagiousness, washed all my dishes a couple times, and stayed home with whichever kid was home sick from school.

I saw Him in my mother-in-law, who brought us food and drinks, stayed with Ty at urgent care, and made my kids giggle.

Jesus showed up in my kids in the way that they took care of each other. In the way they felt compassion, empathy, and sympathy for each other. He was so evident in the way that they served each other.

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And most of all, Jesus showed up to forgive me.

As I look over this week, there were some blessings that I couldn’t see in the moment. I got to snuggle more with my kids than I have in so long. Each one of the kids had the opportunity to go to school by themselves for a couple days due to the other one being sick. This also meant that each one of them got a special lunch date on their own.

Jesus lovingly nudged my selfish heart and showed me where I needed an attitude adjustment.

We’re feeling better. Our bodies are healing.

But more importantly, thanks to Jesus, my soul is healing.

Where is Jesus healing your soul today?

3 Comments

Amy Thedinga

about 5 years ago

Hayley, I love your heart and how humble and sensitive you are to His leading. From one mom to another: don't be so hard on yourself. It really is SO hard to be placed under such demands when you are all tapped out. I know the feeling well. Self care is not selfish. Even Jesus stole away from those who desperately needed His help so that He could rest. Rest sweet girl. Rest in His grace knowing that you deserve to be taken care of and refreshed too. That need doesn't go away because you're a mother - sometimes you just have to meet it for yourself. xo

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Hayley Schraufnagel

about 5 years ago

Thank you for your sweet words Amy! And congratulations on your wonderful accomplishment!!

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Amy Thedinga

about 5 years ago

And PS you'll be a better mom for it. :)

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