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Eyes Up

Eyes Up

It’s no secret that I love to travel – especially flying. It doesn’t matter where I’m going, really. I just want to be going. I love love love the airport – there’s no people-watching like people-watching at the airport. I don’t mind a long layover…I could sit at the airport all day.

Right now, I am writing from gate B7 in the Phoenix International Airport while I wait to board a flight to Minneapolis. From my perch I can see:

Where Are the Grown-ups?

Where Are the Grown-ups?

Picture it.

Two of your children are fighting in the other room.  You’re not even sure what started it. You heard it start with a little whine, and your ears perked up.

What was once a little whimper has dissolved into a yelling match, which is now culminating in a physical altercation. It all happened so quickly that you didn’t even have time to get in there and stop it before it happened.

You’ve arrived in the room. Everyone’s crying. You know what happens next – the shouting begins and the stories flow.

At the Plate

At the Plate

Well, I have a confession to make.

I’ve been battling some anxiety lately. Feelings of not being good enough, impending sense of doom, you know that kind of stuff. No big deal.

It’s something I’ve always struggled with, and sometimes it hits me harder than others. I withdraw from the world, I shut down when I start to think too much, and I stop writing because then I might really have to face my feelings.

A few minutes ago, I figured out what I think is the root of this bout of anxiety – my boys.

Newly Legit

Newly Legit

When we were brand new parents, Ty told me that he always considered “seven” to be the number. THE number.

When you’ve been married seven years, you’re pretty experienced. You’re out of the honeymoon phase and you’re into real life. You’ve been through a lot together already. You can now dole out advice.

If you have kids who are seven, you have been parents for a while. You did the whole bottles and diapers stage, you’ve been through toddlerhood, and you’re even into elementary school. You’re legit. You also are allowed to advise.

Well, it happened.

And for 2016…

Well, it’s here again. The end of the year. How did this happen? I’m suppressing panic.

Last year I wrote about my goals and what things I wanted from this year.

I did a great job with most of them. I could still work on being more present, but I think that will be a lifelong goal – I’ll never arrive completely. But I will keep trying. Add it to 2016.

I was awesome about going to bed at 10:00 once a week for….like one month. I don’t know, you guys. I think I need to just accept that I’m a night owl and learn to make the best of it. I mean, I have read all of the wisdom from morning people – go to bed earlier, no electronics before bed, a calming bath before you fall asleep (or warm milk – just gag), set your alarm clock for five minutes earlier every morning.

Let’s just be honest, people – five minutes earlier every morning just means I buy myself one more snooze per day. Why interrupt my sleep like that? It’s just plain wrong.

So I’m back with new goals this year – ‘tis the season, right?

My Un-Highlight Reel

My Un-Highlight Reel

So a few weeks ago, I had some pictures taken to replace the pictures that were on the information page, profile picture, etc. of the blog.

I am so not the kind of person that likes to have glamour shots done, and the photographer, Michael Porter, did an awesome job of just putting me at ease and making it a lot easier to just grin and bear it (cheesy pun intended…insert groan here).

Here’s something that’s hard for me to admit.

I like some of the pictures.

It took me quite a long time to get to that place. The place where I can look at one of these pictures and think, “Wow, I like that one. That picture makes me feel like I’m pretty.” I think we all feel that way sometimes. Isn’t that what the delete button is for?!

But you know what I do when someone else posts a beautiful picture of themselves? I feel insecure. Not always, but often. I feel like if they are looking so beautiful, and I’m sitting in my mess, procrastinating on Facebook in my sweats, there is definitely something wrong with me, and I’m certainly not that beautiful.

It’s crazy, isn’t it? The amount of lies we can tell ourselves and then get ourselves to believe?

Now I say all of these things, because I want you to know something.

There were some outtakes of my photo session. Images of me not quite at my best.

And that was during the photo shoot, when I was already gussied up with my hair did!

So there is something that I know will happen when I post those pictures. As soon as I post the pictures I’ve chosen, some of you (I’d actually be willing to bet most of you) will start to think negative things about yourself.

I’m sure you’ve heard it said before, but it’s true, so I’ll say it again. The things you see people post- especially images – on social media are the highlight reel.

The one drivers’ seat selfie they posted was the best of many. It was probably taken over and over and each one of them was compared to the next. Then, after choosing the right one, a filter was applied to soften any remaining flaws.

And then it’s all done again. And again.

It leaves you with a feeling that everyone around you drives anywhere in a constant state of beautiful!

I’ve seen many of you at the store – I know that’s not the case (don’t worry…me too.).

So here’s my straight up honesty for you.

I deliberated.

I set the pictures side by side and narrowed the choices down.

I had people give me their input, by choosing A, B, or C.

I weighed the merits of black and white vs. color.

But in the interest of full disclosure…I am posting a couple outtakes first. So that when you see the ones that I chose to post, you can recall that there were some outtakes.

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And I’m throwing in a picture that Noah took of us right after he woke me up in my bed super early in the morning and I moved to the couch, so that you can’t say anything about my hair and makeup being done. Complete with a Cars blanket. Just for good measure.

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Here’s to my un-highlight reel. And yours.

To the real reel. 

Friday Faves {#19} – Spring Break!

Friday Faves {#19} – Spring Break!

Oh. My. Goodness!

“Spring Break – Week 1” has been a blur! So much so that I almost forgot to post today, because I didn’t even know what day it was!

I was hoping my kids would sleep in this week, and so far…no go. But we have had a lot of fun!!

I haven’t posted all week because I haven’t even had time to check my emails this week. If you sent me an email, sorry…I’ll get better. I hope.

So without further ado, because I have to get back to the fun (Aidan’s pulling on my arm as I peck away with one hand…) — our week in pictures!

Friday

I guess this was the first day of summer?? Considering that it’s not even the official first day of spring…that’s saying something!

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Saturday

Tilt-a-whirl at the Spring Festival! It took all of those little hands to make that thing spin!

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Sunday

We got to hear about our campus pastor’s recent trip to Egypt — complete with authentic Egyptian food! I couldn’t believe it, but Noah tried pretty much everything! He’s not a fan of falafel.

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Monday

Nothing says “Spring Break” like Wreck-It Ralph with friends!

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Tuesday

The splash pad is open!! This has totally changed how we play. My kids just love love love the splash pad, and we could spend all day at the park now that we all have a method to cool off.

Now my kids can also turn into sugar cookies. Wet kids in sand = one big summery mess.

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Wednesday

They may not be sleeping in, but who cares when they sleep like this?! Well, I guess I care a little because I’m not sleeping since they’re both in my spot!

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Thursday

Love the water park with friends! Doesn’t that picture of Aidan and his friend Aubree just scream “Wedding Slideshow!!”?  *sigh* I can dream….

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Also, please don’t be alarmed by the fact that you can see Noah’s ribs. I do feed my children. But don’t ask them about it — they’re pretty sure they are really wasting away to nothing pretty much every second of the day.IMG_1015

Anyone else on Spring Break yet? Have any fun plans or trips planned? Does anyone else have kids that think they have never eaten enough food?